So, there’s this indie game I bought recently, called “Hatoful Boyfriend”. It’s a Japanese PG-13 dating simulator, except that the rest of the student body besides you are man-sized birds with human characteristics. The player spends the entire game building romantic relationships with pigeons, doves, quails and one demented partridge. The player character, seemingly the only human woman left on earth, lives in paleolithic conditions in a cave in the middle of the countryside, like some kind of outcast from bird society.
Spoiler Alert: as you might have guessed, the special new game + ending gave me the idea for the title of this article.
I’ve covered Eron Gjoni and his ugly breakup before; starting with Gjoni’s tell-all AMA in #burgersandfries. I’ve also written of the dishonest blog post he published downplaying his involvement in harassing Zoe Quinn, and Eron’s successful efforts to get the #gamergate rage mob to pay his legal fees, because he keeps violating his restraining order. I’ve even written about his unusual and timely friendship with Mike Cernovich, part-time attorney and full time juice bro.
But somehow in writing about this duplicitous 24-year-old from Massachusetts I’ve failed to capture the forest by describing the trees. There are still people who think that Quinn abused Eron, instead of the other way around; who think he engaged with #gamergate in the interest of quelling the harassment against Quinn instead of using it as his personal army/fan club. Granted, many of those people are his stalwart allies and I don’t think I can change their minds. Those tools would rather not contemplate the hand which wields them.
But to those who assume Eron wouldn’t lie about being abused, or that there are two sides to every story; I would like to present the side the evidence is on. Because this story is not a he-said, she-said. It’s not even about Zoe Quinn. This story is about a hateful boyfriend, who, once denied a relationship with Quinn committed himself to ruining her life. And today, I’m going to publish the pictures of him doing it, going all the way back to August. I’ll put a summary at the end of this post, supported by the evidence I’m about to present.
Part 1/5: “Set Odds of Harassment at 80%”
Eron filled his zoepost with salacious details about Quinn’s sex life because he knew it would be the best way to get 4chan’s attention. He admitted that Quinn was likely to be harassed as a result of these postings.
From the very beginning, Gjoni wanted to make sure his zoepost would connect with a large base of people. Here, he shares a screencap of him workshopping thezoepost on Facebook with his friend, Rachel. (Note the date, August 6, about a week before he published it.) He posted this screengrab in October, well after Quinn filed a restraining order to try and shut him the fuck up.
He spent weeks crafting it and sharing drafts with close friends of his, weighing the pros and cons of this course of action. His mom even told him not to post it, although Eron didn’t take her advice.
Gjoni knowingly shared the so-called “zoepost” with 4chan hours after it went live. I know this because the post originally contained this welcome message for 4chan traffic. Eron’s since changed his TL;DR; this is the original header to his tell-all post.
This directly contradicts Eron’s later narrative that 4chan simply happened to find his postings. He promoted them on the site; I know how this works because I own a blog myself. To be clear, this is the OP of the 4chan thread Gjoni’s talking about:
TLDR Zoe Quinn, a rabid feminist SJW GAMUR GIRL who made a shitty non-game called Depression Quest, just got outed for BRIBING THE MEDIA INTO LIKING HER SHITTY NON-GAME WITH HER VAGINA BY cheating on her boyfriend with 5 other guys, including Kotaku staff members who defended her online and reviewed her game and HER MARRIED BOSS. She is a manipulative liar and a sociopath.
At this point, 4channers were digging into every aspect of Quinn’s life, to see if they could shake loose another humiliating detail to add to the thread, for example, nude photos of Quinn, or the name of the wife of one of the men with whom Quinn allegedly had sex.
As if a post welcoming 4channers to his site wasn’t enough, Eron also joined the 4chan discussion to give the mob more material about his ex-girlfriend’s sex life and whereabouts. Here’s a picture of him entering the 4chan thread:To prove he was the real Eron Gjoni, he posted this note on his blog, linking to his 4chan post number. The only reason I can see why Eron would so definitively prove his identity was to certify to the fomenting mob that his ZQ gossip was the straight poop, so that he could obtain control of the harassment he had engendered against Quinn.
It’s important to note that Zoe Quinn had been harassed by channers in the past. Eron knew this had happened, which encouraged him to seek out this community as an audience for his writings. His intent with thezoepost seems to have been to destroy Quinn personally and professionally as an act of revenge. This next message (which Eron posted on Twitter and later deleted) suggests he even wanted to break her psychologically.
Part 2/5: “I’m Zoe Quinn’s Ex, Ask Me Anything!”
Once it was clear that thezoepost had hit its mark, Eron began to bask in the sweet e-fame and e-sympathies of other angry, entitled men on 4chan, Reddit, and the IRC channel #burgersandfries. At the time, he was confident he would never face serious blowback for his actions.
To keep his readers coming back for more, Eron made sure to lay on the cheesecake in his AMAs: details about Zoe Quinn’s sex life made available for public consumption. He began calling around at hotels Quinn had stayed at, trying to gather proof she had stayed there to commit infidelities, and wasn’t simply traveling for business. He didn’t find any proof of that, but he kept saying she slept with folks while travelling anyway.
It didn’t even matter if the stuff Eron was telling them turned out to be false in the end. So long as he was stirring the pot (and maintaining a veneer of “plausible deniability”) he was getting positive attention while Quinn was being pilloried. It seems like Eron wanted to reassert control over her life by using 4chan like a hundred cats-paws; puppets whose reward in this was a voyeuristic intimacy in Zoe Quinn’s life. That would explain all the porn about her.
Note that Gjoni doesn’t condemn harassment of Quinn at all at this point. Throughout August he was basically just giving them information, without comment on the harassment he knew was taking place. (Those are my 4chan source threads, which are misogynist as fuck.) As late as September 7 he was harassing Quinn over Twitter directly.
The veracity of Gjoni’s claims were irrelevant because the purpose of these accusations were to keep up return traffic to Eron’s threads. Splashing specific details and innuendo about Quinn’s sex life around was how Eron kept people interested and convinced 4chan that this battle was worth fighting for him. Essentially, it was a price paid to get #gamergate to rally to Gjoni’s cause. The more details he could release, the better. For the people he was aggregating, violating Quinn’s privacy was part of the thrill.
The anons on /r9k/ were 0nly too willing to humor Eron, and act as his tools. They hated Quinn already, and went out of their way to follow the trail he marked for them, straight to her nude pictures and identities of her friends. Gjoni laid it out like a trail of breadcrumbs; like he does here with Lawfag. Eron does this so he can skirt responsibility for his actions.
Basically Eron used the anons on 4chan as cat-paws, to harass Quinn for him. He maintained an illusion of control over the mob by sending them tips, like this one publishing an old username of hers or this one, about her history in the adult entertainment industry. Here is is on Reddit doing just that: (qrios is his screenname, by the way)
As you can see in the sceencap above, Eron was lavished with sympathy by the mob; and he still is. His claims that he was walking into a “hatebox” to calm the harassment against Quinn is just so much lies. They treated this guy like a prince and were hanging off his every word, which undoubtedly stoked Eron’s ego. If anything #gamergate is a mirror which, to paraphrase Virginia Woolf, reflects Eron at twice his natural size.
What was in it for these anons was a chance to enjoy watching Quinn be pilloried for a variety of transgressions; which range from infidelity, to ‘sleeping her way to the top’ of her industry, to dyeing her hair the wrong color. Eron was only too willing to encourage & embolden them, because he desperately wanted to restore his control over Quinn’s life, even if that meant harassing her into killing herself. He was willing to engage with the literal scum of the Internet to get his way.
Here, he’s chatting with indefatigable internet detective and serial catcaller Camera_Lady, one of Quinn’s most tireless stalkers. As recently as last Tuesday Camera_Lady was stalking Quinn, discussing her “infidelities” on a new Twitter account (CL’s evading a Twitter suspension for harassment, but she and Eron are still in contact.)
This is like one of those big fish stories. C’mon Eron, how many was it, five guys or ninety people? From August 11- September 5 the number kept increasing, like you couldn’t keep your story straight or started embellishing it for the crowd. You’ve even admitted that some of the alleged infidelities occured when you two were broken up.
Of course in Eron’s mind, Zoe deserves this, his revenge quest to obtain control over her life by any means necessary. He’s even equated the harassment he engendered with the income on Quinn’s Patreon, as if it’s some perverse gift he’s giving her, instead of a seemingly never-ending and very dangerous situation.
Part 3/5: Coaching the Mob, Denying Personal Involvement
I doubt Eron thought anybody outside of 4chan’s /r9k/ would ever know he was involved in shaping the harassment campaign which eventually named itself #gamergate. So when Zoe Quinn published some of her own screengrabs in the first week of September, he began to distance himself from the harassment campaign, writing mealy-mouthed tracts on his blog about how these people harassing ZQ were only “human” and he was basically still a nice guy, and also that Zoe was a public danger, like a runaway truck.
Even so, Gjoni couldn’t really stand to be separated from the movement which lavished him with so much sympathy and attention, and his ex with the harassment he believes Quinn deserves. So Eron moved his involvement behind the scenes, searching for a way to still be in control of his ex’s harassment without appearing that way.
To better conceal the reality of the harassment he engendered, Gjoni began coaching those following him so that their harassment of Quinn was as “plausibly deniable” as his own, to use Eron’s words for it. For example, he shared his derailing tactics with the #gamergate mob on reddit and in #burgersandfries. That’s why they’re known for rattling off “it’s about ethics in games journalism” like Catholics say Hail Mary, even though Gjoni’s post had nothing to do with journalism, and Gjoni’s admitted as much.
When he thinks women can see what he writes, Eron’s strategy has been to paint himself as a poor nice guy whose personal blog post somehow fell into 4chan’s hands, so that Gjoni really had no choice but to involve himself in their discussions. It’s very important to Eron that he not appear like an angry stalker, so he peddles this tale of trying to de-escalate the harassment of Quinn once it begun; giving any reason but the truth about why he was in those threads, doing those AMAs.
In Gjoni’s twisted reasoning he kept back just enough information to protect ZQ from “undue harassment”, and all the specific details he did release about her (like her weight) were fair game. According to Eron and his reality-distortion field, Quinn should be thanking him right now for his discretion. But in reality he gave 4chan all the information they needed to dox her, dropping hints when he was afraid that just coming out and stating the facts would leave him legally responsible for incitement.
I’ve said this before, but if Eron tried to draw a line here with regards to how much information was too much to release, he missed it by a country mile. I suspect that Eron’s desire to “protect” his ex from harassers extends only as far as he might be legally culpable for what happens to her; and that the more pressing reason he represents himself as a “victim of abuse” on Twitter is because he’s the kind of guy who wants revenge without appearing in public like a vengeful asshole. He certainly seems to bristle at any depictions of himself in the media which are less than flattering.
At times it almost sounds like Eron’s jealous of Quinn for taking up so much of #gamergate’s attention; and angry that his plan to shame her out of the industry backfired. (Eron’s currently unemployed, having been asked to resign after his employers learned about thezoepost.) He seems bitter that he’s consistently portrayed by the media as a hateful boyfriend, whereas Zoe gets invited to interview with the BBC about #gamergate. Gjoni even blames 4chan for ruining this for him, since the average anon is not nearly as clever as he:
Part 4/5: Eron Gjoni vs. The Restraining Order
On September 23, Eron Gjoni began crowdfunding a legal defense to combat a restraining order Quinn filed against him, which included a gag clause to prevent him from discussing her online. He sourced these monies from the same people who tried to get Quinn investigated for tax fraud because of her previous success with crowdfunding.
Eron promised to post everything in the court case if he should win, as a reward for his backers. He was going to make it “amusing”, just like he did for thezoepost.
I will publish the affidavit, as well as the evidence in my defense [this will be public record, after all] in an amusing write-up or heavily auto-tuned whatever. And if that doesn’t convince you just how terribly low LW is willing to stoop, or just how much she doesn’t at all believe in the values she claims to uphold — then I give up. – Eron Gjoni, Sept 23
Oh, to be sure, he asked for nobody to harass “LW” Literally Who, a.k.a. Quinn; but only so he wouldn’t find himself legally imperiled by said harassment, which he knew was continuing apace. These weak denunciations of the harassment he knowingly engendered read like an effort of Gjoni’s to cover own his ass while he violates his RO.
The second is that no one harass LW over this…. In this particular case, harassment on anyone’s part would basically allow LW to claim that my simply asking for help with legal fees constitutes a violation of the order. She might claim that it constitutes a violation even if no one harasses her, but whatever. (I’ve already gotten a call from a concerned and sympathetic police officer for supposedly violating the order presumably for just doing a podcast interview, because as worded, I guess it just means LW is god and can call whatever she wants a violation). The lawyer I intend to hire disagrees, and says I shouldn’t worry about it, because of like, the constitution or whatever, but I won’t get into that. – Eron Gjoni, calling his ex “Literally Who” while violating his new RO.
Obnoxious double standard aside, Gjoni raised about $2500 on GoFundMe in a matter of hours, violating his restraining order on the GoFundMe page and also by appearing on a podcast hosted by KingofPol a few days later. In that podcast, Eron discusses Quinn’s new relationship and shares tons of details about the new guy, Alex Lifschitz. Listen here, Eron enters the discussion around the 39:00 mark.
Eron also had a friend, Ben Hitov, write about his court hearings on Reddit; to prove to his backers their money was well-spent. I covered this back in October, and Eron admitted to me he’d instructed this person to act as his cat’s paw:
Eron, or maybe his friend Ben, also posted a picture of his RO to 8chan. I can say that because Hitov offered to share that same RO with Mike Cernovich. Does that sound crazy and stupid to you, too? Well, here’s Hitov telling Cernovich he would do just that on Twitter.
And do you remember that time I doxed Cernovich back in October, and he responded by screaming Zoe Quinn’s legal name from the rooftops of the internet? Well, Eron RTed that too.
Eron has violated his restraining order repeatedly, showing a callous indifference to the law as well as Quinn’s safety. I imagine it gives his realspace lawyer migraines, even as Mike Cernovich (part-time lawyer, full-time stalker) assures Eron he’s in the right. However I think Eron will find he’s writing his own ticket to unemployment and criminal indictment, just like Mike’s dealt with.
Part 5/5: Eron Gjoni, Self-Made Man
Despite all of this, Eron Gjoni would desperately like to believe he is a nice guy. And he wants us to believe he’s a nice guy, too. That’s why he goes on these extended, reality-bending PR campaigns, that’s why he claims he’s a feminist on his Tumblr. As the chances of his triumphing over Quinn grow increasingly remote, Eron would like to distract us with anything he can, so that he don’t see him as he really is. Unfortunately, the evidence is everywhere.
He’s not even sorry for causing all this trouble for his ex; Eron thinks Quinn’s been adequately compensated.
In the classic logic of someone backed into a corner, he even claims this is somehow good for him, even though his revenge quest has backfired in most of its objectives.
One of the weirdest things about following this whole scandal is how many times I’ve told Gjoni what he’s doing is a bad idea and that he should stop. And I’m not the only one, yet Gjoni continues. Here, he curtly rebuffs the advice of one of my readers:
What kind of abused person would continue on a self-destructive warpath to destroy the person abusing them? What kind of person needs to reserve the right to harass their ex online for months at all? Why put himself through more grief, now that the news is out and everyone knows the ‘truth’ he wants us to believe? What more could he possibly have to say about this breakup?
Indeed, Eron’s compulsion to talk about Quinn is telling. In his own mind, it’s like some titanic conflict; as if his love life is literally the most important thing on the internet.
I think Eron would like the endgame of this saga to play out with him somehow triumphing over Quinn. As that becomes increasingly unlikely he has become desperate to prove his revenge quest was justified. Instead, Eron’s reduced to writing increasingly psychotic blog posts on his Tumblr, blaming everyone but himself for his current situation while waiting for his next hearing date to come around. He’s a quote wherein he quite literally he wishes death on SJWs via surgical accidents as a result of his being dismissed over thezoepost.
Here’s a tip though. next time you go to the ER, make really fucking sure the surgeon has grey hairs.Or better yet. Don’t do that, and let that surgeon go work on someone who actually deserves to live. Eron Gjoni, c. Nov 7 2014
The stuff I’m publishing now is just the tip of the iceberg; I could probably write five more articles with the material I’m sitting on.
I suppose I should detail one personal prejudice which disposes me against Eron. Over the course of writing about him in this space for the last three months, Eron has hit on me about five times; accusing me of liking him or offering to take me on a date. It’s gross, and he admits to doing that for that effect.
He also does it to other people, like Greenduch, a Reddit moderator.
I have to say that being hit on when I back Eron into a corner logically doesn’t help me believe he’s not willing to lie through his teeth to save his hide. But that’s just an impression I get, as someone totally grossed out with his narcissistic, manipulative behavior.
1. Eron knowingly promoted his tell-all blog post about Quinn on 4chan, knowing it was likely to cause harassment.
2. Rather than try to quell the harassment (As he might have you believe), Gjoni actually basked in the attention, to try and stir up even more agita against his ex.
3. Once confronted with his actions, Eron tried to distance himself from #gamergate, and move his involvement of Quinn behind the scenes. Unfortunately we have evidence of this string-pulling.
4. Eron’s fight against his restraining order is merely a continuation of the harassment he was already engaging in. If he wins his legal battle he’s likely to post even more private info about Quinn as a reward for his backers.
5. Gjoni has essentially ruined his good name in pursuit of this revenge quest. He knows this, and it makes him bitter that his plans to sideline Quinn in her own industry have backfired so spectacularly.
6. Gjoni sexually harasses women critical of him; especially when caught in a lie or backed into a corner logically. I find this a telling clue about his real attitude about women, although Gjoni claims to be a feminist.
6.) As somsone who Gjoni has sexually harassed as Qrios on reddit I can definitely back this one up. He’s a sleazy narcissist.
“Well good for you dualpollux. I don’t know what the fuck you expected though.”
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Pingback: READ THIS: How Zoe Quinn’s angry ex-boyfriend not only started what became #GamerGate but directed it behind the scenes | we hunted the mammoth
Reblogged this on Atheism, Music, and More… and commented:
I’m reblogging this because people need to read it. THIS is GamerGate, folks. Don’t even try to deny it (and believe me when I say I won’t let you on this post. I promise.)
It occurs to me that just the fact that he’s trying to get the restraining order lifted is proof that he wants to get back to harassing Quinn and openly stirring up the mob. All he has to do to obey it is just stop talking to and about her. The only purpose that lifting the order could have is arrange it so that he won’t need to do that. What other reason could there realistically be?
Any sane, sympathetic person would just walk away, but Gjoni needs to ensure he can keep meddling in her life. His actions toward the restraining order demonstrate this.
I don’t know the details on this, and Eron absolutely is an abuser. But I want to point out that there are very good reasons for abuse victims to fight a restraining order.
For one, it will appear on background checks and mess with employment possibilities in the future. For another, it will preclude one from owning a gun, which in cases of physical abuse is actually really scary because some abusers will file one to specifically prevent their victim from having access to a weapon to defend themselves. It may also be preemptively filed to call into question any subsequent restraining order the victim may file. Some abusers may even file one as the first step of a murder plan (as leaving your abuser is one of the most dangerous times) so they can claim it was self defense and have legal record to back them up. And lastly, many abusers will file restraining orders in order to continue abusing someone, because the person filed against has to leave the vicinity if the person filing it turns up. So an abuser and harasser can and will start turning up at all your favorite spots to run you off.
I want to make this clear that I don’t think Eron is in any danger from Zoe. I just think a lot of inaccuracies get thrown around in our eagerness to bash Eron, and it’s not helpful to act like abuse victims should just suck it up and deal if their abuser files a false restraining order. They shouldn’t. It’s actually really really dangerous to do so.
BTW whether Zoe was abusive or not does not matter to the fact that she has every right and reason to demand a restraining order. But if an abuse victim has one filed against them out of the blue by an abuser? This can actually be a really severe red flag that more abuse is coming. So I feel the need to put that out there.
I agree with most of this; it’s been pretty disgusting how Eron Gjoni has been so vigilant in shaming Zoe and pursuing this hate mob against her. But I do personally object to one thing.
“What kind of abused person would continue on a self-destructive warpath to destroy the person abusing them? What kind of person needs to reserve the right to harass their ex online for months at all? Why put himself through more grief, now that the news is out and everyone knows the ‘truth’ he wants us to believe? What more could he possibly have to say about this breakup?”
I don’t agree with you saying that Eron wasn’t a victim of abuse. Abused people do shitty things all the time, and abused people can also put themselves on self-destructive warpaths. In fact, the very fact that he initiated this “movement” is indicative of his mental state, which possibly could have been fueled by the events of his relationship. Just because he has started and continued to harass Zoe Quinn does not mean that he was not wronged in his personal relationship. Obviously, his “retaliation” was gross and a violation of just about everything, but I’m don’t think erasing someone’s abuse experiences is the right way to go here. His overall behavior has already proven repulsive enough to condemn him in the court of public opinion.
Sure, Eron might have been subject to abuse in his and Quinn’s relationship, but that is all hearsay and theoretical. thezoepost even makes their breakup sound really fucking standard high school bullshit that 90% of people go through. It reads like a teenager’s diary. Unless you are suggesting that being cheated on is abuse? Really, it doesn’t need to be said that evidence of abuse toward any party does not favor Eron. I don’t see how that matters in regards to #gamergate. All that does is distract from the actual issue at hand.
Um no, but threatening suicide when someone questions your behavior or tries to break up is textbook abuse. Threatening suicide if someone won’t cut off friends is textbook isolation abuse. Seriously, find me one legit source on domestic violence or one reputable psychiatrist who says it isn’t. These are some of the most common signs to see on any abuse checklist. She did both of those things in the chat logs. It’s possible those logs were doctored, but fictional or not, those logs are examples of abuse in those particular areas.
Being isolated and having someone threaten suicide when you try to break up is NOT standard high school shit. It is incredibly abusive and incredibly mentally devastating.
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“Just because he has started and continued to harass Zoe Quinn does not mean that he was not wronged in his personal relationship.”
….and? Is there ANYTHING she could have done to him that justifies anything he did? Even assuming she did anything; I have no trouble believing that a person this hell-bent on ruining someone’s life would shy away from making shit up about them.
It may be irrelevant, but I wanted to mention that the seven-ish month-long relationship they had gives the lie to Gjoni’s claims of emotional “abuse.” Clearly their relationship was tempestuous and painful, and included at least one months-long break. Several months is hardly long enough for a pattern of abusive and manipulative behavior to be established. Their relationship problems may have been painful and embarrassing, but just having an unpleasant relationship does not make one an abuser. Especially after only a few g*dd*mn months!
Less than a year in, one partner is hardly intertwined and dependent enough on the other to make dissolution of the relationship complicated or drawn out. After less than a year, especially at that age, one can just walk away. And no matter how invested one was in the relationship, one *ought* to be able to move on relatively quickly after a month or so. At this point, Gjoni’s revenge-campaign looks like it might last as long as their relationship did, if not longer.
I don’t think there’s a statute of limitations or time requirement before we can call Eron’s behavior what it is; but I respect your opinion. Thanks for sharing.
I was referring to the claim that Quinn was an “emotional abuser”, not Gjoni’s behavior post break-up, which I think is unquestionably hostile in intent and results. As I understand the arc of their (very brief) relationship, Gjoni was at no time beholden to Quinn for anything other than emotional commitment (not, for instance, living with her, sharing children or pets with her, reliant on her earnings or any other dependent position that would make walking away difficult or impossible, logistically.)
As someone who was in an emotionally abusive relationship with someone for roughly one year, I can attest that intense, constant emotional abuse for even a few months can have very lasting effects on you.
If Eron was abused (and I will take him at his word that he experienced emotional abuse), he should have been responsible, gotten into therapy, and processed through it and move on. Cut ties with her, write online about it with anonymous names (I did that, in my situation), but don’t tie it back to a real person because you just need to heal and move onwards.
What he did was narcissistic and childish, and really fucking petty, and the fallout (and his apparent belief that he should continue with it) is absurdly disproportionate to the level he was wronged, HOWEVER bad the abuse was.
Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.
Came via WHTM. Thank you for this.
As to Jackdaw Chicanery, love the victim blaming under the guise of “balance” – You’d best go post it on 8chan. Actually abusers like Gjoni often claim that they are only retaliating to abuse and it is always bull-carp
Agreed. Gjoni acts far more like an abuser than an abuse victim. If he were a victim, wouldn’t getting away and getting the abuser out of his life be the real priority, instead of spending weeks on an ill-advised slut-shaming web page that even his own mother told him not to publish? And a 4chan campaign to tease it and get the hordes all worked up — what is THAT if not abuse? He is definitely the author of his own misfortune.
I’m sorry, I agree that Eron has gone too far, and that gamergate is nothing but misogynists harassing important women. And I am going to have to finish reading through this post to give me ammo to argue against gamergate defenders.
But this? “There are still people who think that Quinn abused Eron, instead of the other way around.” Hell no. You are not going to convince me that Zoe didn’t do anything abusive toward Eron ever. Anyone can be abused, even people who are abusive themselves. It does nobody any good to try to pretend this isn’t true.
So, why do I believe that Eron was abused? It’s not because I find his facts’ trustworthy or his analysis accurate or is character noble. It is only because the chat logs he posted CLEARLY demonstrate abuse. So until Zoe comes out and says the chat logs are doctored, I’m going to believe what the evidence indicates is true.
So, why do I feel the need to say this? It isn’t because I want to defend *him.* In fact, after all the awful shit associated with Eron and gamergate, I’d prefer to never have to make another statement that could possibly be misconstrued as siding with them ever again! *barf* But I am not standing up for him – I am standing up for me, and for other WOMEN like me.
Because by saying what you’re saying, you’re dismissing and victim blaming ALL victims of similar abuse, and that includes me, so I’m kind of personally offended by that. I’m really fucking offended by a supposed feminist throwing me and countless other overwhelmingly female abuse victims under the bus to attack this douchebag. Let me make this abundantly clear: I don’t give a crap about Eron Gjoni and I don’t think anything Zoe has done or might have done justifies anything that Eron or gamergate have done. I am not sitting here victim blaming anyone; instead I’m pissed off at your victim blaming.
You are the one making it hard to see the forest for the trees, at least for some of us. I SEE the forest, actually – the rampant harassment and misogyny by Eron and gamergate. But I can’t talk about only that because of all the trees – All the rather personal dismissals of my abuse that are getting pulled into this by otherwise well-meaning people like yourself.
Fact: Threatening to kill yourself when someone questions your behavior or tries to break up with you IS ABUSIVE AS HELL and really mindfucks the victim. Isolating someone by guilt tripping them into cutting off friends by threatening suicide if they don’t IS ABUSIVE AS HELL and really mindfucks the victim. Ditto to gaslighting but you could argue back and forth more about whether her brand of lying constitutes gaslighting. You can’t deny that she isolates him and threatens suicide in the chat logs though cause it’s blatantly right there in the chat logs! If you deny that, you are really letting your vendetta eat away at all rational thought. Because I guarantee you you won’t be able to find a single official resource on domestic violence or a single psychiatrist who will tell you threatening suicide to control and isolate someone is anything other than abusive.
Stop defending and minimizing this shit. It’s really fucked up and unnecessary. You can still say Eron is an abusive, harassment-sparking misogynist. Just don’t tell people it’s okay to threaten suicide to control others, and to intentionally isolate others from their friends, and to gaslight them. It’s not. You’re not doing good by spreading the word about gamergate if you’re also spreading some really nasty victim blaming bullshit at the same time.
It’s quite possible that both are abusers; but even if Zoe was exactly as bad as Eron describes her I don’t think turning 4chan against her to try and sideline her out of her own industry/ leave her friendless and loveless/ harass her into suicide/ was a warranted or reasonable reaction to said abuse. And Gjoni has lied about *so* many things that I’m disinclined to take his word about anything. I’m also disinclined to read FB chats he posts with Zoe or other private communications from during their relationship, because the only reason those documents are accessible is because Eron posted them.
What stuff do you think he’s holding back? It seems likely to me that Eron would only release the FB chats which make Zoe look like a monster and himself like an angel/abuse victim. And I have seen things (which I have not published) that suggest Eron was an abuser within the relationship as well.
If you want to get offended about anything, it’s that the next abused guy will get the suspicion eye, b/c folks will expect he’s just lying to hurt his ex like Gjoni did. That man, who was abused and doesn’t wish for retribution will be harder to believe because we know that some men (like Eron) will lie about being abused, and then lie again to seem like a nice guy worthy of our sympathy. That’s the real kicker about Eron: he’s made life a lot harder for other male victims of abuse.
I’m sorry you’re offended, Marissa; but I don’t think I’m throwing other victims of abuse under the bus by exposing Eron’s actions for what they are, nor am I blaming Eron for his own victimhood. Eron may well be a victim of abuse by Quinn, and I don’t think he deserved to be abused or somehow earned this treatment from Quinn; which is what I understand “victim blaming” to mean. If Zoe did threaten suicide during an argument or break-up or something that was pretty fucked up and I don’t defend using those tactics to hold onto a relationship. I didn’t “tell people it’s okay to threaten suicide to control others, and to intentionally isolate others from their friends, and to gaslight them.” I never wrote anything like that at all.
I’m blaming Eron for his immature, narcissistic, and criminally callous reaction to his (abusive) relationship ending; for writing shit (always by choice) to stir the huge pot of danger zone he cooked up for Quinn and sent straight for her doorstep. That’s why this article is called “Hateful Boyfriend”. Because if someone does shit things to you, you don’t earn a right to do shit things back to them, let alone attempt to repay their bullshit tenfold. That’s a revenge quest, a bid for Gjoni to re-assert control over Quinn’s life. And it puts me in a position of doubting Gjoni’s stories, because what he does doesn’t match to his narrative.
Rambly, weird post, longer than my original work? Check.
Friend of Eron’s (mentioned in his @replies)? Check.
In the author’s own words, “Assume Eron is telling the truth” ? Check.
Nitpicking the difference between a TL;DR and a header? Check.
Weird probability problems where we assume Eron was lying about calling those hotels (but to be sure, only lying when that would make his quotes seem less damning) ? Check.
Says you’ll go through Hateful Boyfriend chronologically, then posts the images out of order? Check.
Assumes I don’t know Hatoful was made by a woman? Check.
Apologies at the end of the article for not bothering to edit your work? Also Check.
Congrats! You have written a bad Tumbler counterpoint!~ You are probably Eron’s tool. I’m sure he’ll love this super-great “counterpoint” of my work. Please go play KSP or something.
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Amazing work. Came here via Rational Wiki, very glad I clicked the link. Will be reading your work regularly in future. 🙂
what if this had been an emotionally abusive man outed by an emotionally battered woman… do you think your perspective and tone would be different?
Great article, came here from RationalWiki.
Gotta say, the Ramona Flowers picture seems pretty appropriate, since in that comparison, Eron Gjoni would be Gideon Graves.
Come to think of it, the Scott Pilgrim book series basically predicted this entire mess, didn’t it? I mean, the sentence “controlling asshole rallies people to ruin ex-girlfriend’s life” seems to sum up both with startling accuracy…
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